i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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