Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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