are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
