fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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