Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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