ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My bed smells like the plague
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
