she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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