your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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