He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
