Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
