Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need a burrito and a hug.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
