Don't you send me to vm
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
