I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
