Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
