i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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