I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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