Non-Jews are for practice
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
