He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
