So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
