Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
