wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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