Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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