I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
