I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
