I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
