Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
