Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
