New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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