I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I understand Curling. That high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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