Say something about gay babies.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
