somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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