It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
