just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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