i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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