Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
