Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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