im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
