i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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