Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
be right there i have to get my cape
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
