I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
