Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
