He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
