Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
