you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
