I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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