Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize