Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
