Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
