Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
