Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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