I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
